1. The worst month of your life is January.
When will people give up on their New Year’s resolutions, already? This is just ridiculous! Stop taking up all the space and just leave! We all know you won’t be here in a month, anyway.
4. Ordering three dinners on Seamless in one night
6. I’m hungry!
French fries, pizza, donuts, bagels, popcorn, mmmmm!! The only place I want to be running to right now is Whole Foods. Get me out of here.
7. Why is that girl on the elliptical for three hours?
Is she wondering why she isn’t seeing results? This is a pretty big waste of time if all you’re doing at the gym is cardio. Pick up the damn weights and change up your routine; only then will you see the results you want.
8. WTF is that girl wearing? Are those extensions?
You came here to exercise, not to participate in a beauty pageant.
9.You wonder what exactly people do with their lives when they say things like, “I don’t work out.” No seriously, what do they do?
10.Other gym rats never fail to comment, “You are always here!” (Obviously, if they always see you when you’re at the gym, that means they’re always there too.)
11. You do laundry once a week solely because you don’t want you gym clothes sitting in the laundry basket, getting nasty. Alternatively, you have a laundry basket just for your gym clothes.
12. Speaking of gym clothes, they make up about 30 – 50% of your closet.
13. And you think shopping for gym clothes is the most enjoyable form of shopping. Example: Texts you’ve sent your friends, “AAAHHHH, my new sports bra is the SHIT!”
14. If you calculate how much you spend annually on your gym membership, gym clothes, add-on fitness classes, sports races, and team sports participation, you could probably have gone on at least one all-expense paid trip to Fiji. Maybe two.
15. You schedule dates around your gym schedule. “Well, I usually get done working out at 8 P.M. So you want to go to dinner at 9.30? “(And if your date can’t accept that, you know it’s probably never going to work.)
16. Speaking of, you don’t think you could date someone who doesn’t work out at all. It’s the first sign the relationship is simply going to fail. Nope, you’re not going there.
17. When people ask you to name a list of things you can’t live without. Your gym membership is in the top 5.
18.When someone steals your bench.
19. The fact that every time you leave your headphones at home, the gym is playing the same playlist over and over again.